


Another heart breaks

by Navy_Blue



Category: Black Sails
Genre: Angst, Like so much, London-era, Multi, Unrequited Love, Unresolved Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-07
Updated: 2017-10-07
Packaged: 2019-01-10 05:37:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12292431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Navy_Blue/pseuds/Navy_Blue
Summary: Miranda likes James but James likes Thomas. This is pure sad angst from Miranda's pov. Set in the series 2 flashbacks.





	Another heart breaks

**Author's Note:**

> oooooh I am feeling all the angst. 
> 
> Miranda looks so. gosh. darn. sad. in some scenes (London montage in 2x05 especially) so I had to write some 'ot3 doesn't work out' kinda stuff. I'd say enjoy but writing this made me sad so idk how it is to read.
> 
> (unbeta'd so if there's spelling/grammar issues, apologies)

She sat silent and still. Her left hand lay flat on the dark surface of the table, fingernails pressed into the hard wood. She braced herself for the inevitable.

It was not that Miranda minded her husband’s inclinations, she had known about his affairs with men well before they married, but why _James_? Why did it have to be the one man in all these years with whom she felt the same closeness and fondness as with her husband. She found he shared his distaste with high society, for he was as silenced as she at Thomas’s dinners, being of a lower class. They would retreat to the dark corners and have their own debates, while watching Thomas glide around the room in their place.

 

Miranda had first spotted him at the docks. Thomas had informed her the lieutenant wanted to show him around his world, to educate him. The idea of a man so bold as to suggest Thomas wasn’t already educated enough intrigued her. She found she too wanted to be let into James’s world. 

She saw him pointing out spectators and officials to Thomas, carrying himself with such confidence. Thomas had described him as charming, but noticeably uncomfortable in the company of too many aristocrats – this had only made her love him more - but here in his world, he shone. 

His was shorter than Thomas but no less arresting; bright copper hair in the afternoon sun, straight posture of a navy man, a warm smile turned up to Thomas. _Ah_. Miranda sighed. No doubt he has already caught Thomas’s eye. There had been occasions where the two of them felt the attraction to one man but there had never been a competition between them; there was usually never any doubt as to who their suitor would fall for, either way. But with James- Miranda couldn’t work him out. 

“You must be our liaison. I’m Miranda, Miranda Hamilton.” She called from her carriage.

“Hello, my lady. Yes, I’m James McGraw.” She watched as he tore his gaze away from Thomas, who was still talking to one of the guards at the dock.

“It’s amazing, isn’t it, to stand in the presence of such a great man. I remember when I first met him, I was enthralled. I quite imagine you’re feeling that way right now.” No, it wasn’t subtle, but subtlety had never been to Miranda’s taste.

His bright green eyes met hers and she felt herself enthralled once again.

“What do you think of our lieutenant then?” She had asked Thomas a few weeks after their first meeting. The three of them had grown close, but Miranda was still trying to something more with James, or at least see if such a relationship would be possible. The navy had trained James well, it was rare for any emotion to cross his face, especially the want and desire Miranda longed for.

“He’s quite amazing isn’t he, and he seems to have taken quite a shine to you.”

“Hmm,” Miranda hadn’t been sure. She barely dared to let herself believe he felt as she did. “I think I’ll pay him a visit tomorrow, you are away no?”

“Ah, yes I am. You have fun then, dear.” He looked down at her with a knowing smile. Miranda saw the glint in Thomas’s eye, as if he could see the scenes unfolding in Miranda’s imagination.

 

James opened the door. It looked like he had just woken up. His hair was coming loose from its tie and he was hastily pulling on his shirt. Except, it wasn’t his. Miranda would know that shirt anywhere; she had seen Thomas wear it a hundred times to bed, and the sleeves were too long for James anyway. Shoe would have laughed at how silly he looked but icy jealousy crawled up her spine. _It means nothing_ , she thought. _Of course it means nothing. Thomas gave that to him when James stayed at the house last week. It means nothing that he still has it._

“I want you to come with me, today.” She said holding her head high. She saw confusion in James’s eyes but she held her head high, commanding him to follow. This was to be her day with James, after all.

After a short while in the carriage she noticed familiar streets outside her window.

“James, do you know why we are going back to my house?” she asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes, my lady. I did not think it proper to escort you somewhere without you husband. I asked the footman to take you back.”

“But you’re still in the carriage with me? Without my husband?”

James was quiet. She put a firm hand on his shoulder.

“James, you do not seem to understand, there is a lot I- _we_ can do without my husband.”

 

That night she undressed and looked at the small red marks at the top of her thighs. She placed her hands over them, imagining her small soft hands were the broad rope-roughened palms of the Lieutenant. She fell asleep imagining him next to her, holding her as he had done in the carriage. 

As the weeks progressed, however, she came to realise that one time in the carriage would remain a single event. 

 

Alfred’s impending visit had put the whole house in a dark mood for a few days, but there was something else. She had begun to feel like… an intrusion. She had entered the study earlier that day to tell the men tea had been served and felt the silence she created. She was used to men stopping their discussions in her presence but Thomas and James were different, and that silence was different. It wasn’t to remind her she was a woman and she should not be involved the business of men, it was to say they were Thomas and James and there was something between them that she could never be a part of.

 

And now it was truly, irrefutably over, the truth of it all unfolding before her. She watched as her husband rose from his seat, he never once looked at her; his eyes were fixed on James. She saw him move closer and out a hand on James’s shoulder, as she had done to James. And then they kissed, and she felt her heart break. She felt the sting in her eyes and left the room, her husband and her lieutenant not noticing. She locked her bedroom door behind her, sinking to the floor, and let herself weep.


End file.
